a.k.a. Can't Stop the Beat, Prison Dancer

directed by Phillip Schuman
cast: Robin Antin, Ron Lacy, Rhona Alrich, Valarie Richards

Robin Antin stars in this bizarre mix of early 80's high school meets Flashdance in an all girl detention center! This must of looked good all nicely written out on a cocktail napkin as the producers snorted several lines of coke, but the finished product is a real endurance test. The plot involves Barbara (Antin) who just loves to dance. All her highschool chums and the flaming high school dance instructor think she is da bomb. After school, she is strolling home with her badly dressed pals. Every thing is dreamy on this Reagan era day.

Until another badly dressed teen alerts Barbara that her stepfather is abusing her mother. Barbara shoots her mean old step dad with a shotgun to save her mother and gets thrown in the shithouse. Yet this correctional facility is more like club med, or a cheap highschool set. The inmates have leather jackets, stereos, etc. There are no bars, and the solitary confinement has no toilets! Once inside, we meet the queen bee called Maxi who looks like a reject from an after school special or a summer cashier at the Gap. She runs the show by dishing out her twat to a female prison guard who in turn supplies her with heroin. Half the inmates are dykes, but we never see anyone shooting smack. The usual happens with Barbara defending the shy timid girl, teaming with Maxi's rivals, etc. Where all this is leading to is a big show! Barbara on several occasions refuses to dance, but once urged by her personality lacking boyfriend and some fellow inmates in solitary, Barbara opens her legs and dances. Oh boy. This leads to the inmates putting on a show in front of the governor.While an all girl inmate band plays in front of Marshall stacks to a song called "It's Lust" (trust me it sounds much better than it is), Maxi tries to escape, and is shot dead by her prison guard lover.

The jailbirds throw a major wedgy fest in their last number "Got to feel the Beat". A song so painful it will not leave your head for days. I really have no idea why this film is rated R. The only nudity is 19 minutes and 52 seconds into the film. You see an out of focus very flat chested set of breast in the background. It last maybe 1 whole second as an inmate puts her shirt on. The film does use some harsh profanity like Douche Bag & Bitch, so cover sensitive ears. I do have to give the film credit for the blatant wedgies at the conclusion (probably the most dreaded rear admirals ever in a single scene), but this is a big piece of shit. I kept expecting to hear comments from Mike & the bots. Yet I was constantly thrust back into reality. This was not an episode of MST3K, and hear comes another song! Noooooooooo!